Today's Matrimon(e)y

As I was browsing through the Matrimonial ads last weekend, I noticed that the words used in the ads have changed a lot. Even a decade ago, we could find ads that displayed words like "fair, handsome, beautiful, well-educated, homely, caring or loving" for both brides and grooms. Though this is cliched and has triggered a lot of discussions on skin colour and external beauty, here's the latest...

Last Sunday, I noticed that the ads sought more "professional, IT employed, financially sound business, income above 1 lakh per month, employed in US, salary 35 lakh pa" professional or employed eligible bachelors and brides... in other words, those who had a heavy price tag in the name of salary and perks.

A simple "housewife" has now transformed into a "homemaker" or multi-tasking woman, who sooner or later succumbs to stress and stress-related ailments. Household work like washing clothes, utensils, cleaning and mopping the floor are now passe and maids demand sky-rocketing salaries for such simple work. Most of us are losing out on the minute details while concentrating on the bigger picture, by throwing away thousands towards "home maintenance" and upkeep as well as day-care and after school.

Holidays for children are no longer enjoyable to both children and parents. Even before the exams are announced, the "busy" working parents plan schedules of holiday classes and day care activities that will keep the children occupied without disrupting their own normal work schedule. If the maid or housekeeper takes off for a day, everything goes for a toss -- vessels remain uncleaned, clothes pile up in the washing machine and the entire house drowns in clutter. This happens in most households that boast of "professional" working parents. (Even the machines and gadgets need someone to operate. So will robots be the next big thing?)

Shaping children's future and inculcating moral values in them is best possible only when the mother is around. Often, in the name of pursuing a career or being an active professional, mothers ignore their duties towards children. There's a cook coming in to make food, a maid for household work, and a care-taker for the children. Even worse, in some homes, the children carry extra bags and baggage to get dropped off at after schools or day care centers by "responsible" auto drivers. Money is being thrown around to keep children occupied, and to make life "easy." By following this kind of routine, is life worth living at all?

The most pathetic children are those who are brought up by their grandparents, full-time. Parents show up only when there is a Parent-Teacher meeting at the school, and often only one parent shows "responsibility." One day, I saw a teacher refusing to give away the report card to a child's grandmother who had "proxy"-ed for the child's parents. Whether it is a simple chore like dropping the child at school or picking up, or waiting to receive them after a long and tired excursion, or taking children to extra classes and safely bringing them back home, grandparents seem to be living a second life of "bringing up" (grand) children. 

Money plays a big role in today's world, in fact, it is indomitable. But it is sad that it is silently creeping into matrimony, endangering happy and blissful lives. A person without a penny in his pocket is looked down upon. But a person living a peaceful and content life is definitely richer than the richest who flaunts a pound.  

Let matrimony be. Do not turn it into a business and change it to 'Matrimon(e)y'. Being "penny" wise and not "pound" foolish actually counts, at least in the long run. You will reap better benefits when your children shine morally. So shall we revert to the same old responsible matrimony ads, without the "e"?

Queen of Questions