The Thought Addict

How is my friend so tension free? How is my next door neighbour with three young children able to manage everything with grace and poise day after day? Why doesn't my spouse react when there is an argument? Why do I get so stressed at the end of the day? Why do I feel fatigued often? If some of these questions have been flooding your mind of late, you simply have one common answer. Accept the bitter fact: Your mind is not in your control. Irksome behaviour, frowning eyebrows, splitting headache, and some other common problems arise when you are NOT the master of your mind. So, what should I do if I have to stay cool, be organised, self-disciplined and develop good personality traits? Become the master of your mind. Keeping the mind under control makes you self-disciplined. That will automatically teach you the limits. You have the leash in your hand; your mind is in total control and you will soon realise that you can overcome temptations. Once your mind is in control...

The thought of independence drifted through, and the needle of the spin wheel stopped at the word 'woman' this time. Why do you think this thought has been doing its rounds on my mind since last evening? And how does it link to independence day? Intrigued by the presence of a man in the word wo'man', I thought of a synonym. Probably the word was coined because women 'woo' men to take care of them and the entire family. The next best word that came to my mind was 'female'. This word also has a significant dominance, of the male. So I wanted to look up the etymology of the words 'woman' and 'female' just to make sure. I read up more than I could actually digest, and my head became slightly heavy, indicating that I was drifting from the point I wanted to make. So what were my initial thoughts? Rearranging the random words and organising my thoughts take up a lot of my time and I look lost and forlorn until I accomplish something wort...

"What's cooking?" is a cliche now. Even when asked literally. Instead, "Who's cooking?" seems to be the new trend. There's a plethora (that's a subtle word in this context) of cookbooks already flooding the market. Since the digital media has taken over, there are blogs, videos, recipes, television shows and much more which talk only about cooking and this is the new era of food mania. These "dishes" are definitely a feast, but for the eyes only! Unless you cook the same sumptuous, lip-smacking dish in your kitchen and try the recipe yourself, you really don't know...how "wonderful" or "delicious" it will turn out to be. To get ahead in the race and sell their "tried and tested" recipes, some use the words "traditional dishes", "grandma's recipes", "diet cooking" or "healthy eating" and so on. But are they really authentic? If yes, how do you know they a...

I got this forward on Whatsapp recently, which I got time to browse through only this evening. Nothing much got registered up there, and I instantly forgot about it. You may now wonder what has prompted me to write about it... When to be silent... was the forward. I went through the same again, this time with total concentration. And I was not wrong by being silent. I could now connect well, and someone's reputation was at stake. Nor did I want any fame. And I'm not a publicity monger either. So I was absolutely right by remaining silent. I prefer doing many things in silence. And when done, I don't like to beat the trumpet or even take any credit whatsoever small or negligible. I get full satisfaction that I have done my duty; and done it on time. Without anyone goading me or reminding me several times about my deadline. But that doesn't mean that I should not get my due. Though I do not strive towards earning laurels, I think I deserve a small acknowledgmen...

I'm petrified... Of a simple five-letter word Which no one can defy Or confront or disregard Or defeat or overpower Or challenge or dispute Even the latest gadgets and gizmos Cannot breathe life into Or revert or rewind Or delay or defer Or  simply take it for granted I'm petrified... No, I'm not afraid Of the death of a dear one Or the loss of a beloved Or the demise of a soul Or the passing away of someone special It is inevitable... But doom is certain When an abstract most valued Just slips away from our hands At a place the scariest At an hour the darkest With an outcome the deadliest I'm petrified... Everyone is born with it But no one nurtures it Or cultivates it   Or perpetuates it And it dies an immature death I'm petrified... Of the untimely death Of truth and honesty .

The Mid-Life Crisis.. What is the real meaning of this phrase? For quite some time now, I've been struggling with various issues, ranging from questions about the reason for my existence, to my future career prospects, or the 'Quality time" with my daughter (rather, the lack of it). One fine day, out of the blue, I happened to watch an inspirational speech by a highly successful entrepreneuer, and it just made my mind topsy-turvy. He had focused not on how to earn money, rather about doing what you love and living life on one's own terms.  I was a pilgrim lost in the chaos of my life, and here was a person who said something that seemed to be a very personal message to me at that point.  Now, a few days have gone by since that life-changing moment. I know what I love, what I aspire to. But will I have the courage to see it through to the end? Do I have the strength to give my all to achieve a teeny-weeny bit of fulfillment in life? That remains to be seen.....

Why do we hesitate to say 'no' to a gift? Our face lights up and we are overjoyed when someone actually hands over a gift, especially when it is least expected. Gifts have become a fashion icon these days. Not only the gift that is given, but the one that's taken back. Even children, when they are the invitees of a birthday party, are eager to get something in "return" and that's how the modern concept of return gift was born. Children seem to be enchanted by return gifts even when they get a simple pencil box or a party cap. But how far this culture is taking us and the next generation, is a pertinent question. Today being Teachers' Day, my thoughts roll back to this insignificant but impacting gesture of children in a school I worked. The day started with hoots and cheerful din which I thought were rather unnecessary, at least not from school children who are barely 15. I can understand if those in the late teens had behaved so. The children who ...

People always move with the times. Or do they? Students always move with gadgets better than old typewriters. People born in 1960 have not moved to the next generation. I've seen children of the new or "y" generation (including me) argue with their parents or grandparents about using better phones, computers and stuff like that. "This phone is better! I want that!!!" are some of the comments that parents receive when a new phone is launched. The iPhone 6 and 6+ which were released recently caused pandemonium in my school, with a few children even sneaking it into class and showing off to their classmates. But I found myself asking, "Is it worth it???" Nowadays, we rely heavily on phones to organise our daily chores and events. Our memory power and IQ are indeed slowly dwindling due to phones. The memory power our parents have is greater than ours. We get notifications on Facebook that instantly send wishes to the birthday boy/girl. The spirit...

Once again, the week ended with too much stress. And the weekend also was hectic. It was Sandy-Mandy time, I thought. Even as I was reading the newspaper, I could hear a faint conversation that became louder and clearer as the clock ticked away... Sandy: Arre yaar...museebat yaar... Mandy: What happened? You seem so stressed out... Sandy: This 'colon' is making my head reel. I don't understand anything. My son was preparing for his exam and asked me what a colon was. I escaped from the study room for a few minutes so that I can search for the answer on my phone and let him know. Mandy (equally stressed and concerned): So, did you find the answer? Sandy: That is the problem yaar...one website has some big and colourful pictures, says structure of colon and human anatomy. Another website says it is a punctuation mark used to explain something, start enumeration or list. I forgot to ask my son which colon he wanted to know... Mandy: Big mistake, Beedu! You ...

As I was browsing through the Matrimonial ads last weekend, I noticed that the words  used in the ads have changed a lot. Even a decade ago, we could find ads that displayed words like "fair, handsome, beautiful, well-educated, homely, caring or loving" for both brides and grooms. Though this is cliched and has triggered a lot of discussions on skin colour and external beauty, here's the latest... Last Sunday, I noticed that the ads sought more "professional, IT employed, financially sound business, income above 1 lakh per month, employed in US, salary 35 lakh pa" professional or employed eligible bachelors and brides... in other words, those who had a heavy price tag in the name of salary and perks. A simple "housewife" has now transformed into a "homemaker" or multi-tasking woman, who sooner or later succumbs to stress and stress-related ailments. Household work like washing clothes, utensils, cleaning and mopping the floor are now ...

There are different kinds of friends. Friends with whom you have a blast. Friends you make on a journey. Friends from school you have grown up with, who have seen you grow and evolve as an individual. Friends you love to gossip with. Friends you turn to for advice. Friends who you can depend on always for help. And then, there are friends who save you from yourself, even when you don't realize it. Life had very few surprises for me.  I knew I had a very cold, calculative personality, which had been built gradually with the  bricks of hurt and rejection that Life had thrown at me at various points of time. Encased deep within the thick layers of cynicism, was a passionate heart, that pushed me to act in a fashion, what would seem, out of character. But, in truth, though I may be deluged by emotions running amok inside me, there was a always a sane person standing outside me, watching, tut-tutting, asking me to pull myself together and snap up to order. Even when I ap...

Anything that comes for free is exciting. Some of us shop for things that have a 'free' tag... though nothing comes actually free, and most of us are actually aware of it. So why are we so attracted towards it? No answer, in most cases.  There's one thing, however, that no one would take for free. And it's a Compulsive freebie -- Advice. It is abundantly available on a daily basis, right from the time one wakes up. Parents, elders, teachers, guardians, well-wishers, friends... the list of advice providers is never-ending. Sometimes, we have to digest the thorn in the flesh, and take at least one percent of the Compulsive freebie that comes to us, unsolicited. Though we may be reluctant to accept it in the beginning, advice does a lot of good in the long run.  Sit back, relax and think, do not take any decision when you are under stress, or under compulsion. This magical tonic of Compulsive freebie does work wonders when taken in small doses, at the appropriate...

A friend once told me - the greatest pain that can be possibly inflicted on a mankind is abandonment. I didn't realise the significance of those words at the time, but then, that's what life is, right? We encounter several people, live through several moments, not realising their true meaning and value they would later hold for us. But that's beside the point. Coming back to my original point in mind, what is abandonment? A prominent dictionary gives " ceasing to support or look after (someone)" as one of the meanings. This led me to think. Some of the more primitive life forms seem to survive alone. As the animals became more evolved, there is a distinct preference to living in groups, or the beginnings of  'social life'. Humans are highly evolved beings, with complex minds capable of thinking beyond the comprehensible. History has been witness to the rise and fall of several great civilisations with complex social structures. But suddenly, ...

I'm a pediatrician, and it has been told that pediatrics is one of the toughest medical specialties, because it deals with young children who tough to understand and 'handle'.  This statement couldn't be any farther from the truth. Before I became a pediatrician, I too had been a believer of this view. I had had very little opportunity to interact with children, much less understand them, and they were truly an enigma for me.  My earliest personal experiences with a child was first, with my nephew, and later, my daughter. The moments I've passed with them have been no less than eye-opening and life-changing. Every day spent with them showed me my drab world in its raw beauty as seen through the unassuming, wonder-filled eyes of a child. In fact, all children are often better than grown-ups with many 'superior' traits. They live in a simple world with simple beliefs. All it takes is a keen eye and a loving mind to understand them. Children have ...

I recently travelled by bus on an overnight journey, and in a nutshell, it was a terrible experience. This was an anomaly, considering the number of times I've travelled ever since I was a kid. The bus was in a bad shape, and the driving - what can I say? Half the time I felt as if I was being dragged along the rugged road, with the bus taking off in short leaps like a grasshopper. And the rest of the time, I was trying hard to lie down with the tiniest part of me touching the sleeper berth, so that I could spare my poor aging body the agony of being flipped in air often with a vigorous jolt. The bus was of course air-conditioned. I had wanted that so that there would be at least some semblance of neatness and comfort on a long journey. What I had not anticipated was a gaping wide AC vent right on top of my head with the thermostat set at 16 degrees Celsius on a cold winter night. Well, the best part of my journey was that : it ended!! As I got down from the bus, I was th...

For a moment, I felt like I was getting into the shoes of our very own Czar of Confusion . Right or Wrong? Yes or No? These questions flooded my mind as I reflected on my past. The new year wasn't new to me anymore. None of the good wishes that came by lifted my spirits. Nor did I feel anything 'new' or special about the day. It was the same old routine with probably a few changes here and there that didn't actually matter. For the first time, I did not feel like taking any resolutions, because these gave no 'actual' results, in the positive sense. Reflections from my early life flew past, and nothing special remained in my mind, especially when I thought of the new year. As a young adult too, I don't think I've really enjoyed the new year by partying or dancing, as is the culture now. So did I not have any happy or joyous moment all these years? Am I right in inferring that happiness is a passing phase and happy moments are not here to stay fore...

Sandy:  I've bought some of the best kachoris in town, just for you. Simply indulge! Mandy: Arre yaar, my stomach is no feel good today. It is sick. Sandy: What happened? Mandy: Last night, we were at a party and I gorged myself on some spicy stuff. Samosa, laddoo, batura, pulao...they all endlessly came in front of my eyes and I couldn't resist. Sandy: Are you so starved? Mandy: Shshhhhh!! Talk a little soft...my mom in the other room. Already getting scoldings from her. Sandy: !!! Mandy: Now getting heartburn... the diaphragm, the separation in the abdomen moving up and bringing the bile to the forefront...and the digestive juices regurgitating... Sandy: Oh my god, you have so much knowledge about heartburn. I thought it happens only when a girl hurts you, and you burn your heart??!! Mandy: No, No. You not understand. This is big problem. Heartburn can cause damage to your stomach! And you may have to undergo appendix operation to make it alrig...

Reading is good for the mind, and the heart. This is not about the bookworms. Nor is this connected to any literature. The 'reading' here is about reading someone's mind and understanding their emotions.  Listening to a person in emotional trauma may seem trivial but it does a lot of good when you listen them out. Most people are hesitant to open up but when they do so, it means they place complete trust in you, the listener. Unless you place yourself in the position of the affected, it is impossible to understand what that person is going through.  Once the listening is done, it is not over.  The second phase is to console. Anything that is said or done during this vulnerable moment can have a big impact on the person undergoing trauma.  The consequences can be beneficial or harmful.  One inappropriate word said, and the incidents that follow can be disastrous.  The next time you find someone in emotional trouble or trauma, help him/her overcom...

Bold -- If you are a medical student or a doctor, this word will immediately bring to your mind Blood-Oxygen-Level Dependent imaging. On the other hand, if you are a dumbo like me you will see that the word is already in boldface. So why am I emphasising the word? And why is it associated with blood? I'm not getting into any of the mundane definitions, explanations or mnemonics. Until I read about the rare 'Bombay blood' this morning in the newspaper, I was not aware of it. Less than 190 Indians are known to have this blood type in which the basic protein H antigen is missing, according to the report.  It is heartening to note that three samaritans with this rare blood group came forward to save a life. But the need of the hour is something different. We need 'bold' people who are willing to donate blood on a regular basis to save lives.  Today, though there is an awareness, people seem to be too busy to spare time for this noble act. Until there is an un...

For an hour or so, I was forced to sit idle because there was no power at home. Only then did I realise that I had become a television addict, of late. No, I'm not the mega serial lover or the movie buff, but one who likes to watch anything that comes straight out of real life or everyday happenings.  I'm not a news addict either, but something connected to crime, law and punishment makes me sit glued to my chair, in front of the TV for hours. Sometimes, I switch channels only when I feel it is an overdose of crime. We have enough crime happening in real life these days. Will watching these real stories, picturised straight out of police diaries, make others alert and cautious? Will it make an impact on the society and bring about a change? These questions flood my thoughts every time I watch an episode, and often the answer is summarised into a big NO. Crime headlines make people sit up and think. There's a follow-up for a couple of days more, and then we tend to f...